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My own life and my opinions are shared at When I was 69.

REMEMBER: In North America, the month of September 1752 was exceptionally short, skipping 11 days, when the Gregorian Calendar was adapted from the old Julian one, which didn't have leap year days.

Saturday, April 5, 2025

The year without summer and my ancestors

 What tangent might I go off on today? Well, I decided to check on my ancestors who lived through a trying time, meteorologically speaking that is. 1816  is known as the year without a summer .

In 1815 a volcano in Indonesia (as it is now called) caused enough ash to be in the atmosphere that the sun reflected from it, and cold wet weather caused massive crop failures in Europe and the New England states in the United States.

The main cause of the Year Without a Summer is generally held to be a volcanic winter created by the April 1815 eruption of Mount Tambora on Sumbawa.

Countries such as Great Britain, Ireland, and France experienced significant hardship, with food riots and famine becoming common. The situation was exacerbated by the fact that Europe was still recovering from the Napoleonic Wars, adding to the socio-economic stress.

North America also faced extreme weather conditions. In the eastern United States, a persistent "dry fog" dimmed the sunlight, causing unusual cold and frost throughout the summer months. Crops failed in regions like New England, leading to food shortages and economic distress. These conditions forced many families to leave their homes in search of better farming opportunities, contributing to Westward expansion.

In the spring and summer of 1816, a persistent "dry fog" was observed in parts of the eastern United States. The fog reddened and dimmed sunlight such that sunspots were visible to the naked eye. Neither wind nor rainfall dispersed the "fog", retrospectively characterized by Clive Oppenheimer as a "stratospheric sulfate aerosol veil".

The weather was not in itself a hardship for those accustomed to long winters. Hardship came from the weather's effect on crops and thus on the supply of food and firewood. The consequences were felt most strongly at higher elevations, where farming was already difficult even in good years. In May 1816, frost killed off most crops in the higher elevations of MassachusettsNew HampshireVermont, and upstate New York. On June 6, snow fell in Albany, New York, and Dennysville, Maine. In Cape May, New Jersey, frost was reported five nights in a row in late June, causing extensive crop damage. Though fruit and vegetable crops survived in New England, corn was reported to have ripened so poorly that no more than a quarter of it was usable for food, and much of it was moldy and not even fit for animal feed. 

The crop failures in New England, Canada, and parts of Europe caused food prices to rise sharply. In Canada, Quebec ran out of bread and milk, and Nova Scotians found themselves boiling foraged herbs for sustenance.

Sarah Snell Bryant, of CummingtonMassachusetts, wrote in her diary: "Weather backward." At the Church Family of Shakers near New Lebanon, New York, Nicholas Bennet wrote in May 1816 that "all was froze" and the hills were "barren like winter". Temperatures fell below freezing almost every day in May. The ground froze on June 9; on June 12, the Shakers had to replant crops destroyed by the cold. On July 7, it was so cold that all of their crops had stopped growing. Salem, Massachusetts physician Edward Holyoke—a weather observer and amateur astronomer—while in Franconia, New Hampshire, wrote on June 7, "exceedingly cold. Ground frozen hard, and squalls of snow through the day. Icicles 12 inches long in the shade of noon day." After a lull, by August 17, Holyoke noted an abrupt change from summer to winter by August 21, when a meager bean and corn crop were killed. "The fields," he wrote, "were as empty and white as October." The Berkshires saw frost again on August 23, as did much of New England and upstate New York.

Massachusetts historian William G. Atkins summed up the disaster:

Severe frosts occurred every month; June 7th and 8th snow fell, and it was so cold that crops were cut down, even freezing the roots ... In the early Autumn when corn was in the milk [the endosperm inside the kernel was still liquid] it was so thoroughly frozen that it never ripened and was scarcely worth harvesting. Breadstuffs were scarce and prices high and the poorer class of people were often in straits for want of food. It must be remembered that the granaries of the great west had not then been opened to us by railroad communication, and people were obliged to rely upon their own resources or upon others in their immediate locality.

In July and August, lake and river ice was observed as far south as northwestern Pennsylvania. Frost was reported in Virginia on August 20 and 21. Rapid, dramatic temperature swings were common, with temperatures sometimes reverting from normal or above-normal summer temperatures as high as 95 °F (35 °C) to near-freezing within hours. Thomas Jefferson, by then retired from politics to his estate at Monticello in Virginia, sustained crop failures that sent him further into debt. On September 13, a Virginia newspaper reported that corn crops would be one half to two-thirds short and lamented that "the cold as well as the drought has nipt the buds of hope". A Norfolk, Virginia, newspaper reported:

It is now the middle of July, and we have not yet had what could properly be called summer. Easterly winds have prevailed for nearly three months past ... the sun during that time has generally been obscured and the sky overcast with clouds; the air has been damp and uncomfortable, and frequently so chilling as to render the fireside a desirable retreat.

Regional farmers succeeded in bringing some crops to maturity, but corn and other grain prices rose dramatically. The price of oats, for example, rose from 12¢ per bushel in 1815 to 92¢ per bushel in 1816. Crop failures were aggravated by inadequate transportation infrastructure; with few roads or navigable inland waterways and no railroads, it was prohibitively expensive to import food in most of the country.

Maryland experienced brown, bluish, and yellow snowfall in April and May, colored by volcanic ash in the atmosphere.

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So I just spent an hour on my private Ancestry tree straightening out (who or how does this mix-up keep occurring on my tree?) various people who were married to their mothers, and had their wives as their daughters born the year they were 1 year old!

There is one widow whose husband was alive and well and didn't die till after her. But she was called his widow on several original sources. But how were their lives effected by the cold of 1816 summer? No idea...

So I started looking at my ancestors from Massachusetts...to see if there were any deaths in 1816. So far, none.

In the Rhode Island (probably Quakers) family of the Swaseys, one daughter was born on May 8, 1814, in Newport, RI, and died Sept. 20 of 1815, same city. It's interesting that the same name was again given to another daughter born on April 11, 1827, who lived till 1853.

That's all that my sleuthing has discovered, since many of the sisters/brothers of my direct line haven't been "fluffed out." That means many nieces and nephews of 'great' generations haven't even been added to my tree. Since I've already got about 7600 people, with quite a few photos also, I have only looked back at the New England ancestors on my father's line. There probably are some as well on my mom's side of the family.

One ancestor did die age 50 in 1816. In North Carolina. He was John Franklin Tate III. His older sister (Casandra "Cassiah" Elizabeth Tate 1765-1851) was born in Cherokee County, NC. That is the area where the Eastern Band of Cherokee now live. The Cherokee were forced to leave their homes in 1838 and join 4 other tribes on the Trail of Tears, forced removal to the Oklahoma reservation. But it's very unlikely my 4 time great grandmother probably had any Indian blood. She was the first born of 9 children, with John III her next younger brother, who was born elsewhere.

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But let's see if I can find just one photo of relations/ancestors looking like the Sepia Saturday posted suggestion.

John LeRoy Webb's wife was Lizzie Hohn. John LeRoy Webb was brother to my own grandfather, Albert J. "Bud" Webb, who had died when my mother was just 2-1/2 years old.

The Hohn Family 1894   Standing L to R: Elizabeth, Theodore, Louis, Emil, Henry ==> Seated parents: Louis & Johanna ==> On lap: John ==> On floor L to R: Paul, Caesar ==> Not present: Oscar (died 1891) & Alexander (born 1896)


From L to R: Alex, Caesar, Paul, Lizzie, Henry, Emil, Theodore, Louis P F

John LeRoy Webb married Lizzie Hohn Webb, and here are lots of men in ties...probably her brothers. Since John LeRoy died in 1938, it's possible this photo was taken after that date since he's not in it....or he was the photographer!


 From Sepia Saturday this week we have...

Women in Suits...hats, and purses, with sensible shoes, and a man.

My photos have an opposite ratio, with only a few women and lots of men!

Monday, March 17, 2025

Erin go Bragh

 Duplicate post today from "When I was 69" because it looks at my ancestors from Ireland...maybe

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 For St. Patrick's Day...from an area with a few Irish descendants, in western North Carolina.

Have a happy St. Paddy's Day all! Raise a glass of green beer to cheer everyone for a good new year ahead. May all experience peace, abundance, good health, love and joy!



Slàinte ! To your health!

And for the non-alcoholic among us, the same wishes apply!




A shamrock blooms in my window on my desk, but it's a ruddy version, so doesn't remind one of the Isle of Green! 

My roots include the Scotch-Irish, which means some ancestors were born in Ireland, though they had been immigrants from Scotland. 

One ancestor is:

John Francis Beattie II, (1718-1790) b. 1718 Killishandra, Cavan County, Ireland, d. 18 Aug 1790 Emory, Washington County, Virginia

Another descendant attached this coat of arms to his page in Ancestry. (yes a tiny file and there're no details about it.)


And the more I look into his life story on Ancestry, the more confused I got. A will written by one John Beattie says his wife is Margared, and he had 8 children which are named. He died in Virginia.

Another John Beattie lived in New York.

And there were 3 different wives names given, Ellen or Eleanor, Martha, and Margaret/Margared.

My ancestress, Margaret Beattie (1762-1861) married a man named Rev. Thomas "Junior" Hansford (1758-1841). They were both born in Virginia and married there in 1788. There are 13 children listed, but some duplicate names with different birth dates...so they may actually be the same persons.

Right after their marriage they moved to the frontier of Kentucky, where they raised all their children and are the Hansford parents buried in Crab Orchard KY. 

So whatever the connection to Ireland may be, these are some American documented ancestors. I can sometime go through all the siblings of my direct line and sort out who was duplicated, but that's for another day.

Today (Wednesday March 12 while I'm writing this) is warm again and I'm going to enjoy some of the green shoots that are finally showing after the greys of winter.

Happy St. Patrick's Day if you celebrate, with or without any Irish roots.

Many large cities have a parade!





Friday, January 17, 2025

Huntsville TX grave marker

 Lucinda Benson (Gibbs) Rogers Grave


James O. PeaveyWalker County Historical Commission (2018 post on FB)

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Lucinda Benson (Gibbs) Rogers is buried at Oakwood Cemetery - Huntsville, TX among three of her children, her mother, and various other members of her family. She was born March 28, 1818 in Union District, South Carolina to Hiram and Sabra Ann (Wilbourn) Gibbs.

She married Col. George Washington Rogers, a Mexican War hero, on September 14, 1848 in Bienville Parish, Louisiana. His name is inscribed in the Gillaspie Monument across the street from Sam Houston's grave. They settled in Huntsville, Texas where they became one of the wealthiest couples in town. The Rogers home was built in 1845 on a magnificent hill on as many as 600 acres that Rogers had purchased from Huntsville founder, Pleasant Gray. The home was considered one of the finest homes of its day and entertained Huntsville's most prominent citizens with its magnificent ballroom. Sam Houston was a neighbor and personal friend. This home, located at what is now 1418 University Avenue, has been preserved and is the oldest surviving home in Huntsville. (Link to my photo of the Rogers home:


The five acre hill that was the original site of the Rogers home was donated by the Rogers to serve as the location of the new state capital, but instead became the home of Austin College. Today, the Austin College building, built in 1851-52, is the oldest building on the Sam Houston State University campus. The Rogers raised five children: William Sandford, Laura Terrissa, Alice Luella, George Henry, and George Washington Jr. A sixth child, Jasper Gibbs, died as an infant. Col. Rogers died in 1864 in Cotton Gin, Texas, at just 44 years of age and was buried there. Two years later, his remains were re-interred near his previous home in LA. Mrs. Rogers remained in Huntsville where she passed away in 1884 at age 66.
📅December 1, 2017

A Facebook post

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Barbara Rogers - Chapter 6

 My Three Sons:

They all grew up, and eventually settled down.

Marty married Cinnamon, and they had two children.

Cinnamon (on r) with daughter, Cayenne and her mother Linda.

Marty had also had a son before he married, Michael, who eventually became part of the family (as a teen) and now is living with Marty.


Marty's children, Cayenne, William, and Michael.


Marty and Cinnamon divorced and a few years later Marty married Barbara.


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Russ, Tai and Marty, at Russ' wedding.

Russ married Michelle, and they had three daughters.

Sunburned as they vacationed in the islands of the Caribbean, going around the circle from the front is Caroline, Audrey, Russ, then mom Michelle and at left in back is Kate.


Grand-dog Cody lives in Ohio


When Tai was in the Peace Corps in Jamaica, Marty and Russ pooled resources to fly Tai to Tampa to surprise me for Christmas...here are Marty, Tai and Russ after they arrived at my condo.


Tai married Kendra and they have a cat and dog and went camping with the dog, Zora.

Kendra and Shiva (who was trained to use the toilet rather than a little box!)

Tai and Kendra live a long way away from me, though I'm practically on a line between Marty's home in FL and Russ's in OH. Tai, on the other hand is way out in CO.

The grandchildren, at this time in 2024, are all adults, except Kate the youngest who's a senior in high school. Four have graduated their college programs, one is currently a junior in college and will be studying abroad in Germany in 2025. Two of my grands work from their homes. One of my sons does. It's a different employment scene than I had throughout my life!





Thursday, December 26, 2024

Barbara Rogers - Chapter 5

 The 70s and me

Changes all over the place..the 70s!

We moved to Florida in  October of 1969 with our two sons. Would a geographic change solve our marital difficulties? (Shhh, you know the answer, but we didn't!)

So we purchased a nice house after living in an apartment about a year, and tried to get involved with different groups of people. There were those who worked with Doug at his office. I later on went to the Unitarian Fellowship.

Our parents would come visit, because of course Florida had a certain attractiveness to those living in either Hartford CT or St. Louis Mo.

My father has his back to camera, while skinny me is lying there. Mom in far background has sunglasses on while Marty is reaching across table, and Russ is on the other side.

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 Somehow Doug and I became interested in visiting a nudist camp, where we didn't take the kids, of course. Tampa has good enough weather that a long standing nudist camp can exist with various members...guests as well as people who live there year round. We met an artist and his wife that lived there in a mobile home. We tried some marijuana. Doug didn't like it, but I did.

Yes that was the beginning of the 70s for our shaky relationship. We separated after about a year, and I filed for divorce after learning there was now "no-fault divorce." I think we were the first couple to use it. It was hard on the kids...and we both tried to make their transition as positive as possible. That meant that Doug became the Santa Claus/Disneyworld father, which he'd basically been all along, letting me do all the disciplining of the boys. So I was the strict mom...but I tried to keep our little family in the best way I knew how, while also exploring my own budding feminist freedom. I tried a semester of art school, but didn't find it that interesting since all the other students were about 10 years younger than myself. I did make a few female friends though. And I started dating again (no art students though!)

I was working as a secretary (yay to that typing course one summer in high school!) various temporary jobs at architect offices, and dated a man whose name was also Doug, which of course was strange.

I then found out I could also do the drafting that was being done in these offices, so I applied to do electrical drafting in an architect and engineering firm, then switched to another A&E firm where I did architectural drafting. 

I probably started dating another man by then. It was the time of my life where I was dating and working and trying to be a single mom, but of course it was a strain at times and also a lot of fun some of the time. 

I also found as a newly liberated female that I could purchase a camper-van which was worth about a year's salary, with a loan over 5 years to pay it off. I did eventually do so.



In the meantime, I'd sold the house, gave some of the proceeds to Doug, and I returned the money that our folks had loaned us to buy the house, since I had improved it by painting it nicely and putting in an above ground pool.

We lived in a mobile home for a few years, with my aim to have lower demands on my housekeeping. I was working full time. Then in 1975 I sold the mobile home to a friend and put my furniture in storage and took off in the van with my 2 boys to see the USA. Seriously, that summer we put 10,000miles on the van, and some parts under the hood probably. I had gas credit cards as well as a bank credit card, so I just made a nice big debt that I would pay off after our adventure was over.  (Named the Roving Toad.) I drove it as my primary means of transportation for 12 years.

That trip was an adventure that only a woman in the 70s could have done with her children, traveling all over the US. We never were afraid of anyone bothering us. We camped out in national and state and even county parks, and sometime KOA where the kids liked to play games in the club house, and swim in the pool, and I liked the hot showers and laundry facilities. We carried Marty's bike on a rack on the front of the van, so he had a way to ride around in campgrounds...not very exciting probably. He was 11 that year. Russ was just 7 going on 8, and had a scientific interest already in the various things out in the woods.

We also visited some family members as well as some sites like the Natural History Museum in Chicago. I carried a portable typewriter with me and wrote a journal about the trip, at least for a while. We went to many sites in the west, and traveled to Wisconsin then to Arizona and New Mexico.

When it was time for the boys to return to school in September, I considered moving to San Antonio TX. But talking with Doug on the phone, he asked me to please move somewhere closer to him so he could see the boys. So I settled on Tallahassee FL.

Again I was able to quickly get a temporary administrative assistant job, this time in the Florida State Department. We lived in a little apartment near Lafayette Park where the kids liked to bike and take part in various games. I joined a group of people who chanted from different religions weekly, and sometimes held rituals on the top of a nearby Native American mound.

My next opportunity was to become a potter, and manage a co-op craft store with a new boyfriend. That was a lot of fun, and I went to various arts and crafts fairs, decorated Charlie's pottery, and got to know new people in Tallahassee. Since it's a college town as well as the capital of Florida, I enjoyed getting involved with what is now termed the alternative culture. I wonder if it we called it that then. We were hippies I guess.

But I was also still a single mom, and when I moved into a cooperative group house it didn't work very well for the boys. After less than a year they asked to move back with their dad.

That was stunning to me, and I felt like a failure as a mom. I worked it out with Doug, who was then living with a woman that taught special ed. kids, and I liked her also. They married, then later divorced, while the boys stayed with Doug. But suddenly I was no longer a mom and I hurt. My relationship at that time was partially to find a shoulder to cry on.

So I lived about 6 months in another cooperative house, and then it broke apart so the guys could go to another area to find work. I found out I was expecting a baby about then. Geese. I was so sad about my failure as a mother, and here was a chance to be a good mother...but my boyfriend didn't want to be a father. So he left. And I had my third son alone, with friends to support me of course.

Tai was born by a C-section, and we lived only 4 months in Tallahassee when I decided to move to a cooperative living situation near Orlando in an orange grove. The coop followed a spiritual leader's teaching, and I'd read literature by that leader for several years. So I began the 80's for a few months at least, with a little child and only another couple who decided to create the coop. One woman also joined in visiting while I traded my cooking and cleaning (basically the housekeeper) for my rent of one bedroom in their house. 

I next lived in a couple of coops in Gainesville FL. For about a year I was with two other women who were very interested in the teachings of Rudolph Steiner, the founder of the Waldorf schools. So later on Tai did spend a year in a Waldorf school while the 2 women went to study to become Waldorf teachers.

And I decided to return to college to finish my art degree.

I ended up living in an apartment for a while, then got a married student's apartment on campus in "Corry Village." I could bicycle to classes on campus, and Tai was in the Baby Gator nursery for a while. Then he went to the Waldorf school then public schools. 


When I graduated in 1986 with a BFA in ceramics and an Ed.S. and M.Ed. in counselor education, I hoped to become an art therapist. Some dreams aren't meant to be fulfilled, I found out.

Back to working as a secretary, begrudging that I'd put in all that time to have those degrees! But eventually I did find counselor jobs, and even did a few years helping put curriculums (curriculae is actually correct plural I think) in schools to prevent alcohol and drug addictions. Basically just building social skills and self esteem in students K-12.

Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Barbara Rogers - Chapter 4

 Looking back, stories of the elders and ancestors.


I'm trying to answer some of the questions I wish I'd asked my grandparents.

Years 1964-1969

Buying our first house. 

We lived in an apartment for the first year in Hartford CT. Then found a nice little house, almost new, in a suburb of Hartford, Thompsonville CT. Our parents both chipped in to help us have the down payment. My husband was happily employed by Traveler's Insurance and on the cutting edge of use of computers to do things. My parents had moved to be 1. closer to their grandson, and 2. to work for the Christian Science mother church in Boston MA. I think actually the latter was the highest factor, but having my sister move with them and not having completed college herself, I dare say she didn't want the move as much as they did. They lived in town in an apartment for a year, then bought a house in Framingham MA. My sister went to Boston University or maybe Boston College, for a year or maybe 2. She visited us once with a boyfriend who had actually been one of my heart throbs in highschool, and we had an interesting mix of emotions with our 2 relationships as adult women as well as my little one year old son.

Religion was not part of our early marriage, since we'd both left Christian Science when we left Principia College (located on the bluffs of the Mississippi in Elsah IL.)

If you've ever had a one year old, you know that your life revolves around his needs. I didn't make any friends, and even had a miscarriage before he was 2. Not really being myself at all, just a baby-mother, I think.

And my mother-in-law was alright, with her doting on her first grandson, and trying not to be too critical of my lack of housewifely skills. I was glad there were magazine articles telling how to deal with everything in the home. But I thought I was independent and could make my own decisions (a trait I've carried all my life I'm afraid) so I know I made mistakes...both as a wife and mother, and certainly in the housekeeping department!

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Having our second son, while my husband was out of town on the only "out of town trip" his work had ever sent him on. I was due to have this baby in mid-September.

So the day of Aug 15, 1967 a friend of my husband's drops in (after calling and finding out Doug was in New York on a "work out of town trip"). This male friend had lived in the same household as I had when I met Doug in college, thus he was an "old friend." He had been in the area as a marksman at some competition, (following his Army training) and hoped to see us all, the family of 3-1/2. I invited him for dinner, but he didn't have a place to stay, so I offered him the couch. We had never never had any interest in each other romantically (at least as far as I knew, and I figured my 8 months of pregnancy made me pretty unromantic anyway.)

The next morning with a little boy waking at dawn, we all took turns in the bathroom. I was wearing my nighty and a robe (in August it's hot in Connecticut). And the baby was kicking up a storm. So "Knades" which is his nickname, asked if he could feel the baby, so I let him put his palm on my big belly. He then left and later when Marty was napping, I was lying down in bed, and felt something very wet between my legs. It was gushes of blood.

So, I got on my bedside phone, after grabbing the biggest towel I had to put under me...called doctor, neighbor, mother-in-law, and husband's work to notify him I was going to hospital. Doctor's office said go to ER right away. Neighbor's husband drove me in his Cadillac with white leather seats, and his wife came over and got Marty to come to her house until mother-in-law could get him. 

So we ran a few lights, and when I arrived at St. Joseph's Catholic Hospital in Hartford, having sat on a towel to not damage the upholstery, my neighbor husband was asked if he was the father by the nurse. He beamed and said no. He was beaming because they had just adopted after not being able to have their own children.

Then I lay in a bed on a monitor for a while...maybe a few hours with nothing happening. No contractions, no more bleeding, until suddenly I passed a clot. They wheeled me into surgery to have a C-section. I remember with my naivete' I said to be sure that if there was a question of which one of us, me or the baby, were to be saved, I wanted it to be me. I must have read a novel where Catholics would save the baby over the choice of the mother's life. They assured me that all would be alright. I doubt that got in my chart however!

I think as I was wheeled into OR, my mother-in-law appeared and said Doug was on a train back right now and would be here soon. And I was delivered of a healthy little boy, named eventually Russell, who was about 5 pounds and some ounces. It had been a placenta previa, where the placenta had been near the mouth of the womb, and started to separate as the baby got into position to be born. He was able to nurse and had a bit of jaundice, but after 4 or 5 days I think, we were able to go home. 

Doug did see me maybe in recovery, but definitely in my room, and had seen our new little one in the nursery. Remember how great it was to have a big window and be able to see all the babies? We hadn't decided on a name at the time of his birth, and that was our big project the next day as they wanted it for the birth certificate. There was discussion of naming him after my doctor who had saved both our lives, Victor. But fortunately we had some others to consider, and his middle name went with his father, Douglas, since our first son included my maiden name Rogers as Roger Martin. Doug also had Martin as a family last name somewhere. I really don't recall that there was anyone named Russell. And sometimes the nickname for Russell is Rusty, but he was a curly blond as a kid, then just a regular brown haired young man...not at all Rusty in complexion, so liked to be called Russ.

    

Our little family in Thompsonville, CT.


Russ around 2 years

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What were couples activities in the 60s?

Around 1967-9 we joined a Presbyterian Church, since it was led by a bearded minister who gave more modern sermons than we would have expected, Doug and I started a couples club, to get together with other young couples and socialize. I joined the choir. And I remember making lots of crafts for the various bazaars. The church also had a social justice orientation working with other organizations to help blacks have housing integration in our mostly white community. This was a big thing around Hartford's suburbs. We joined Housing Now, and our branch was named for Enfield, the town where we met and we also met some blacks who wanted the housing. There were busses to various places for demonstrations in 67 and 68. I never did that part, but I was active in another way.

I would get the ads and start calling owners about low cost apartments, saying what I wanted, based on a real black person's identified needs. I'd make an appointment to see the apartments, pick up the black lady, and we'd go see if it was what she wanted. Usually it wasn't, being a upstairs small unit in an old warehouse building. These days they probably are premium places, if the buildings haven't been torn down. I never had any confrontations with whoever was trying to rent these places, but neither did I ever find anything that would meet my "client's" needs. She needed to have transportation to work, which suburbs just made difficult. We moved before I felt I'd made a difference for anyone, which was disappointing.

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Buying our second house.

Well, there are always going to be geographical attempts to solve my problems (throughout my life.) But I tend to think of them as leaps into an unknown which Might Have been the Answer. (Right!)

We moved to be closer to town, a nice little house in Windsor. After my first son had been born, I worked some year or another in a department store. Another time I worked as a temporary employee in a new credit card department. The Connecticut Bank was sending out complete credit cards to a list of customers. It included someone making the actual plastic cards, collating, envelope stuffing etc. I became the supervisor of the temporary women, and liaison with the male computer programmers who had the lists of customers.  But since I was already pregnant at the time, I only stayed there a couple of months.

In Windsor we no longer went to church. We were kind of friends with our next door neighbors, one of their kids was about the age of one of ours, and the man of whom was a car salesman, so he helped us get a few almost new cars. I then worked on the staff of the Hartford Art School, which had just opened as part of the Hartford University. I wished I could have been a student actually, but did enjoy the atmosphere. I had another miscarriage when Russ was 2-1/2 so I quit working again. 

We painted the outside of the house a blue with white shutters. It had been tan and that reminded us of how we'd painted our first house dark brown with tan shutters. I don't know if that was the reason, but about the time we finished, I'd miscarried, and as a couple we were having a lot of problems together. I remember just taking a bus to another town one day, after the children were in childcare of course, and just checking into a hotel. I called my sister and said to tell my husband if he calls that I'm with her, but don't want to speak to him. I went home the next day, after walking around a new town and just feeling so "unencumbered" by responsibilities. And I continued the charade that I'd visited my sister in Boston.

Doug was the one who could certainly take responsibility and shrug off the irritations, at least it seemed that way to me. But he was seldom emotionally expressive (except good in bed obviously). We just didn't fit in the way married people were supposed to fit. I don't know if we tried couples therapy, which was a new thing in the late 60s, but maybe we did. See, how it impressed me?

Russ and Marty at our second house (in Windsor CT)

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So the next thing to happen was my mother-in-law having cancer. It was still whispered and used the initial "C" to talk if at all. After her mastectomy I visited her a few times, and of course she loved seeing her grandchildren. But I was asked to give her a bedpan, and that was the second time in my life a medical condition in an elder gave me a challenge and I failed completely. Well I did as she directed. But much as I wished her a good recovery, I was very afraid of her maybe dying soon. Time to move on!

I asked Doug to find a place where there wasn't snow. I'd had a skidding accident hitting head on into another car on ice before the second miscarriage. Since it was a few days later, I never put it together that it might have actually caused it. Anyway, Doug and I perused maps and Triple A stuff about Arizona, Florida and New Mexico (remember this was way before the internet!) He was pretty sure he could get a job in most places with his skills.

So Doug put out some feelers for various jobs that were in those areas of sunshine. When he was interviewed in Tampa, they hired him, and we took a month to sell the house, then live a week in his parent's basement before the papers were all signed, and then take a week to travel with the boys along the east coast on our way to the sunshine state in October 1969.

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I need to let you know the first time I was confronted by elder's disease was with my paternal grandmother in Houston, while I was visiting her from Corpus Christi with baby son Marty. Doug was on one of his Coast Guard trips, so my neighbor and her baby girl, and myself and Marty drove to Houston together, and then to Port Arthur where my friend had a relative she wanted to visit. My grandmother and I shared Thanksgiving together.

 And then the next night she groaned all night, and I couldn't figure out how to help this Christian Scientist. She would accept glasses of water, and spent a lot of time in the bathroom, but I never heard any vomiting. Anyway once the daytime came I had my son to care for (remember babies under 1 year?) Nearby wife of my Uncle Chauncey came over and worked with my grandmother in the bathroom. But the next day was horrible, as I'd barely slept, neither had my grandmother and her moans continued. I finally called my cousins who also had children and asked if I could come stay with them. They helped me rest a little, and I was able to drive to Port Arthur to get my friend and then back to my grandmother's to say farewell. She had had a practical nurse hired by then to help her (which was ok for Christian Scientists I guess.) I held my baby and said good-bye from the doorway. I was so afraid of her looking like she was about to die. I was not equipped at 22 to deal with death yet!

We drove back to Corpus Christi, our husbands returned home, and a few days later I got the call that my grandmother had died. 

So my parents drove down from St. Louis (they had done so in May when Marty was born, and now it was December.) Doug and I and Marty returned to Houston for the funeral. That was the only time I've been to a viewing, and the body just looked plastic, so I've avoided that ever since. The children were all being baby-sat at one of my cousin's houses, so the cousins could also be at the funeral. I felt like a failure to my grandmother, but she had one belief for physical care and I'd just moved into finding medical treatments but didn't know much yet. I hadn't been around anyone to give supportive care, since I was raised without much myself. Whatever problems my parents had, I never knew. There was a big DENIAL of anything physically wrong in their existence. And Doug didn't give much emotional support, just good responsible reliability!

There certainly were some good times in our life together, and I am focused perhaps on the challenges today. Once we took a spontaneous trip with newborn Russ and Marty to the Pennsylvania Dutch area and visit Delaware Water Gap. We went on at least one camping trip with a rented trailer to Sandwich MA. And we visited the newly opened Old Sturbridge Village, which I loved. We went to many movies that were indicative of the times, less romantic musicals and more thought provoking.

More about the next chapter of my life in Florida.